I have started three different blog posts in the space of ten minutes and backspaced each one of them into oblivion. The words I want to say won’t come. I can’t seem to delve into any topic of actual substance. All I want to do is curl into a ball on my couch and watch eight straight episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, nursing my borderline-insane crush on Andy Samberg.
So … that is what I am going to do.
I’m not going to force myself to write something. Sometimes, our creative souls need a break. I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself lately; with Bryan away on business, I have had a lot of time to myself, which I feel should be full up to the brim with productivity. I even made myself a list of things to get done entitled Things to Accomplish While Bryan is Gone. I knew it was a mistake the minute I did it, but I did it anyway, because I’m a slave to the to do list.
So for tonight, I am cutting myself a break. I’m not going to sit down at this computer and force myself to bleed all over the keyboard for the sake of an essay about something deep and meaningful, because chances are that the resulting words would be anything but deep and meaningful.
For tonight, I’m going to allow myself the simple pleasure of curling up on my couch with my favorite NYPD precinct and a late dinner, and I’m not going to worry about having five blog posts written for next week, or about writing at all.
I’m going to let myself rest. Then perhaps tomorrow I will come back to the keyboard, refreshed, and ready to create once more.